I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
if only i could text you this smell
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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