Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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