Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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