we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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