I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Randomize
