the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
