That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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