you win again, gameday.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
