I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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