that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
