I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So squirting runs in the family.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
