At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
