I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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