marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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