3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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