How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
