just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
