Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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