She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
My balls are so social today.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
