sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
