you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
