SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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