yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
