Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
