I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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