I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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