So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
