I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
