you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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