tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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