It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
