You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize