im drinking this country out of the recession.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
