Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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