you would pick up someone in the library
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
