Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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