ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
