He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
