I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
