You really coming over, don't trick.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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