how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
