omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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