She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize