Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is it because I queefed?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
