if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I want to fling myself into the sun
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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