So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i've created a new STD.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
