this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
