Your face is a jimmy john
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sext me about skeletons
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
