So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
