I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
