I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
