so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
