i just had sex bonerless
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
