On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
