she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize