My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
