yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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