i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
