it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
