You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
