He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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