You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
