But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
