I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
