Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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