I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Ketchup is God's man juice
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
