last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
