was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
