Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize