You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
