what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
