Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
