dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
COCAINE IS GR8
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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