Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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