He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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