this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
