Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
sex in a hospital.. check
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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