You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
