a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
