Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
