i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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