he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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